Wednesday, 13 March 2019

Freelance and Mental Health

It's been a while since I blogged and I can tell you now that the last year has been a bit of a roller coaster. 
My life has basically been thrown in the air and totally changed in various different ways. But like the proverbial phoenix I have been trying to rise from the ashes and rebuild myself. 
Through all of this I have made some discoveries and realisations about myself and in particular my mental health. 
Basically I had a break down the middle of last year and effectively broke. This resulted in me reassessing every aspect of my life. I left a great but stressful job which had been a huge part of my life for three years. I ended up in counselling and on anti depressants. As far as I was concerned at the time, my life was over. I have learnt however that this is very far from the case and that it was merely a life lesson to grow from. 
I discovered that I had in fact suffered from Anxiety and Depression for a number of years but as is the case with most of us, especially men, we just get on with it and bury it down deep. Stiff upper lip and all that. The problem with that is eventually it rears its ugly head and results in exactly what happened to me, which I wouldn't wish upon anyone.
During this period of reassessment and reflection I realised that my priorities had been all wrong and that I need to do the things I want to do with my life. Namely The Clumsy Pickle! I have missed being my own boss and running my own life over the last 3 years and feel like I need to get back on this and get things back in order for my own sanity. I dipped my toe back into the water during the Christmas period and sold way more than I expected, which is brilliant and proves that I do actually have a viable business here if I devote myself to it properly. 
Ever the nerd I've kind of adopted the Mentat Mantra from Dune as help to get through all this. It is by will alone I set my mind in motion couldn't be more appropriate really.
My aim from now on is to work on my own mental health and hopefully share any knowledge I gain from this with the hope that it might help somebody else out there.
Clumsy Pickle

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